From the category archives:

Wacky Letters

Your Parents Hate Me Letter

by emily on May 8, 2012

I want to share few things with you. I don’t think it’s just my thoughts. Your [parent(s) that hate you] [hate/hates] my guts. You might think whatever I am thinking and saying is unreasonable, but I really felt it. When we , your [parent(s) that hate you] kept [mention their odd and weird actions]. I feel you should take this is matter seriously. I’m not sure what should be the best thing to do. I’m too young to die, so confrontation’s out. I’m not sure if I just look funny or dress odd or what. Maybe you can talk to your [parent(s) that hate you] and find out what’s wrong with me. Anyways, please call me and let’s talk and clear everything.

 

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You Got The Facts Wrong Letter

by emily on May 8, 2012

501, Apple Valley,

California-92308
February 9, 2012
[Mention Address of the Recipient]

Hello,

I have read your story. Your story of [date of story] on [theme of story] was written amazingly well. It showed truly an example of superior writing and great usage of vocabulary. Though few facts mentioned in the article were not accurate. I think your sources gave you some wrong facts which made errors in your story. I request you to go through them again and rectify your error. I hope you’ll do some checking into this matter and if it turns out that I’m right (which I am), run a correction, an apology, a plea for mercy, or something apologetic.

Warm Regards,

Arnold Shaw

encl: [List of enclosed items goes here]

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Whats Your Name Letter

by emily on May 8, 2012

Hey! I enjoyed so much at [place] and it was so much fun spending time with you. I wanted to ask you something but before that I want to know your name again. I know this might be bit weird but I still want to take you out. I am not able to recall your name [reason you can’t remember]. I really feel embarrassed, but I want to tell you, that I am really looking forward to meet you again. I can understand that you think I’m a jerk, but please give me one chance. But I am still hoping that you’ll call. Thanks. Take Care.

 

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We Need Some Pets Names Letter

by emily on May 8, 2012

Dear, I guess you would agree that our relationship has passed the point where we are just dating. We both are way more serious, and I want to discuss something with you. We both need to give some pet names to each other. To be bit specific I’m not talking about those cheesy stupid nicknames like Poo, honey-bun or duckie. I have thought upon few names for you which suit you. The names that I’ve thought of for you so are [pet name #1] [pet name #2] and [pet name #3]. Go through them once and give your feedback on them. Give me a call once you go through them and you can tell me the names you think would work for me. I hope you’ll give it the attention it deserves. Waiting for your call. Bye.

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Too Much Advertising Letter

by emily on May 8, 2012

123 Lane, Area 456,

City, State, Pin Code
February 11, 2012
[Mention Address of Recipient]

Hello,

As a regular reader of your [newspaper/magazine], I would like to mention that your [newspaper/magazine] has way too much of advertisements! I have been noticing this from long time now and I counted the pages lately and there were more pages of ads than there were of articles! I was very disappointed and couldn’t believe that, so I did it again few days back and found out the same result. I am aware that advertisements pay your bills, but don’t you think you’re getting just a little carried away? I don’t read a [newspaper/magazine] to get a frenziedly sales pitch. I would suggest you to control the ads a little, or run an issue or few pages with no advertising for your readers.

 

Thanking you in advance for considering.

Warm Regards,

Bob Travolta

encl: [List of enclosed items goes here]

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Reward For Great Grades Letter

by emily on May 7, 2012

123 Lane, Area 456,

City, State, Pin Code

February 17, 2012-02-12

 

[Mention Address of the Recipient Here]

Hello,

You may have received the gold-plated report card I sent home [time you sent card]. Let me assure you that it was the result of meticulous hard work and sincere study, and there was no bribery or blackmailing involved in it. That said, I think the time has come to discuss a reward for this grand accomplishment, namely, [preferred reward]. I think a booming college [class year] should have something to show the globe that [his/her] success is appreciated. I’m sure you don’t want to stunt my social growth, do you? So let’s negotiate. I’ll look forward to your first offer. Waiting for your response.

Warm Regards

Bob Travolta

Encl: [List of enclosed items goes here]

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Too Many Big Words Letter

by emily on May 7, 2012

123 Lane, Area 456, City, State, Pin Code
February 9, 2012
[Mention Address of the Recipient]

Hey,

As I am a regular reader of your [newspaper/magazine] I would like to suggest you to minimize too many big words in your publication as they have grown big time. Words like “geographic,” “ambassador” and “terrorism” are bit too much for an ordinary mind to handle all at once, and they can cause brain damage. This is a proven scientific fact. In the future, I would welcome if you tried to write your articles so that average people who didn’t graduate from college could understand. I’m sure your many readers would thank you for it.

Kind Regards!

Sean Peterson

Encl: [List of enclosed items goes here]

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Thanks For The Worst First Date Ever Letter

by emily on May 7, 2012

I am sorry to say but this was the worst date ever. Usually, I don’t prefer doing this sort of date on short acquaintance, but our date was so astonishingly terrible and I had no other option of letting you know my feelings. From the moment we arrived at [place of date], I knew something’s going to be wrong. You acted so awful for most of the night, and I found myself wishing I was with someone else. Anywhere else with someone except you. I was highly annoyed by your behavior and I hope you might have understood what I am trying to say to you, there will be no further date. Thank you for your time, and I’ll pray god to bless the next unsuspecting [woman/man] you take out.

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Thanks For Presents Letter

by emily on May 7, 2012

Dear Santa Claus:
I wanted to say thank you for the wonderful gifts. I specially loved the [gift you loved], and the [one more gift you liked] is really awesome too. I promise that I will be good this year too. Thank you so much for the presents not only to you but to the little elves and reindeers too. Mom says it’s too soon to tell you what I want for next Christmas, so I guess I’ll just write to you again in November. Thank you very much, and have a pleasant year ahead.

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Sarcastic Congratulations For Someone Else Story Letter

by emily on May 7, 2012

123 Lane, Area 456,

City, State, Pin Code
February 19, 2012
[Mention Address of the Recipient Here]

Hello,

I wanted to share with you that I am impressed with your article on [story topic] you wrote few days ago. I thought it was very intelligent reporting and wonderful use of vocabulary and great interviewing on a very difficult subject. Wait, that wasn’t you guys. That was another [magazine/newspaper]. Never mind.

Warm Regards

Bob Travolta

Encl: [List of enclosed items goes here]

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