123 Lane, Area 456,
City, State, Pin Code
February 16, 2012
[Mention Recipient’s Address Here]
I think it’s time to disperse a nasty rumor which is going around. Contrary to popular belief, the students at [college name] are not nor have they ever been engaged in any social activities that could be referred to by the debased term, “partying.” We, and I, find such a suggestion abusive and defamatory. In our college [college name] we do have a social life here. It comprises of primarily study groups, folk groups singing around the fire, afternoon teas, and cotillions which are supervised by a cadre of sexually repressed professors. Personally, I don’t even know the meaning of terms like “beer bong,” “toga,” and “Macarena,” though I suspect the last is something related to cheese. I hope this clears up this matter before any damage is done.
Encl: [List of enclosed items goes here]